5 tips on Mealtimes with Selective Eaters
Note: This blog is applicable to most families, but of course there is nuance depending on the age and special needs of your child. At ÂME, we love working with children of all capabilities who are learning to engage with foods. If you have a child with special considerations, book a session with us today!
“Picky” or Selective Eating (the proper term) is incredibly normal, especially for children ages 2 to 6 years old. These are the ages when children are exercising their autonomy, developing opinions and realizing their own power as small human beings. Though this behavior is normal, it does not make it any easier during meal times when you’ve made your child's favorite food and they all of a sudden decide it’s the grossest thing you could have given them! So how can we manage these behaviors?
The key as a parent/guardian is learning how to respond during these moments and how to structure predictability during meals. Here are 5 tips on how to set up parameters during meals to make these selective outbursts more manageable.
Always eat together as a family (ideally sitting at the table or where ever is culturally appropriate) - Children learn through observation. It is imperative that the adults in their life model for them healthy meal time behaviors and diverse food selection. Meals are excellent moments to connect with your child and share stories about the day, but they are also moments of learning. Children are learning to engage with foods, provide them a safe secure and calm environment to do this.
Limit Distractions - we wouldn’t learn to read with the tv on, so consider the same approach as children are learning about food. This does not meal making meals intense strict moments, but it does mean allowing calm opportunity to focus on only food and connection. As adults, we often forget this aspect or maybe we never experienced it ourselves growing up. Allowing space to enagage with flavors, focus on hunger and fullness, chewing, hand-eye coordination, learning to use utensils is very important!
Keep mealtime light - Do your best to never force your child to try a food or finish the food on their plate. When we force children to try foods, as with anything in life, it can lead to more resistance. As a guardian, provide the opportunity for your child to eat a food, if they refuse, move on. Forcing children to finish their plates, especially if they have voiced that they are full is encouraging your child to ignore their internal fullness and hunger cues.
Set Expectations for meal time - As in a classroom environment, children enjoy predictability and routine. Make it known to your child what is expected of them during meals, what time will meals and snacks be offered, how long is your child expected to sit at the table, what is appropriate behavior when your child decides they don’t like a food, what manners are expected of them. These are habits your child will take with them into adulthood and into their social lives, provide them a strong template.
Encourage Connection - Globally, mealtimes are moments to sit together and share: share food, share feelings, share a story from the day. Give your child this opportunity. Let them know that when it is lunch or dinner, they will have their parents attention and a moment to connect. Also, speak about the foods you’re all eating. If your child expresses apprehension about a food served, talk about it, tell them why you like it or express that is it also not your favorite but you’re learning too. Make the focus on connection!
There is so much to discuss on the subject of selective eating and every child is their own individual, but hopefully these 5 tips have helped you see the importance of modeling positive behavior at meals. If you feel like your meal times are too chaotic, slowly begin incorporating some of these tips one by one. It is never too late!
Schedule a session with ÂME as well if you feel you need more support!
Future Blog coming on mealtime tips for trying new foods and managing specific behaviors!
